Tina Roque :)

"Do not hurry yourself in your

spirit to become offended, for the

taking of offense is what rests in the

bosom of the stupid ones."

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (Online Bible)

There are times when you aim to

help others and people impute other

ulterior motives. This can be very

distressing. In 1 Chronicles

19:1-19 we read that when

Nahush the King of the Ammonites

died, David decided to reciprocate

the kindness he had shown him and

sent a delegation to his son Hanun

to convey his condolences. However

Hanun listened to his advisers who

told him that David’s envoys had

come to explore and spy out the

country so that they could

overthrow it. “So Hanun seized

David’s envoys, shaved them, cut off

their garments at the buttocks, and

sent them away”.(verse 4). As a

result of this misunderstanding war

was declared and more than fifty

seven thousand people died.

Many relationships break because of

misunderstandings: family,

marriages, friendships and

alliances.

When others misunderstand, we

should seek for a chance to explain

and make amends. However, this is

not always possible. You cannot

force people to understand you. If

they put themselves in your place

they might understand, but many

people are led by their preconceived

notions about you and selfish

regard for themselves. Sometimes

they have hidden motives and were

looking for an excuse to blame you.

Their experiences may also not have

opened them up to understand or

sympathize with your position.

Do not be unduly worried that you

are misunderstood. Do your best. It

is only important that God

understands. Jesus’ message is

plain and simple yet many people

misunderstand it. If they listen with

a discerning heart instead of closed

minds, they will understand it but it

is their choice, Jesus does not

force. “When they hurled their

insults at him, he did not retaliate;

when he suffered, he made no

threats. Instead, he entrusted

himself to him who judges justly.”

When others misunderstand you,

always leave a door open so that

people can explain their side of the

story if they feel inclined to do so.

Sometimes people are hot tempered

and judge hastily. In Joshua

22:10-34 we read that some tribes

of Israel built an imposing altar

which others mistook for an idol

and wanted to cause war with them,

lest God’s curse fall on them all.

However they sought for an

explanation first and were pleased

that the building was only a

monument so that future generations

could be reminded of God’s

goodness.

When you are misunderstood

remember also that you are not

perfect and may have misunderstood

others many times, and deemed

them evil when they had only good

intentions towards you.

God calls us to forgive others

without any reservations. This is

also for our own good because

bitterness destroys the soul.

*****

"People are often unreasonable and

self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse

you of ulterior motives. Be kind

anyway. If you are honest, people

may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may

be jealous. Be happy anyway. The

good you do today may be forgotten

tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give

the world the best you have and it

may never be enough. Give your best

anyway. For you see, in the end, it

is between you and God. It was

never between you and them

anyway."

Mother Teresa